Fool's gold shining...

Fool's Gold –noun:

1. iron or copper pyrites, sometimes mistaken for gold

One knows that Paris' lights don't shine that bright, or that going to the top of the Empire State building won't bring some "Sleepless in Seattle" experience.. yet we still want to go there and live some kind of 'soul fulfilling' moment.
The best movies you can ever watch are the ones you are playing in i.e. your own: an improvised script where life just happens... And sometimes you are lucky enough to be able to record them not only in your memories. It was actually in conservative London, where the animal kingdom played the leading role in this "Horse love" pure momentum:



Not all that shines is gold, neverthless we all need sparking little "lies" to fool us, now and then. Life is just that scrapbook: you waste as many pages making sketches until you get it right. However the more we sketch the more we tend to "fear" the upcoming outcome.
João.. "todo iludido" ;)

Ending up trapped in our illusions.. but those illusions are just the fuel keeping one going, keeping one alive: when perception begins and reality ends, where imagination plays twisted games with any down to earth mind... Healthy fact: “Logic will get you from A to B, but Imagination will take you everywhere.” *quoting Einstein* And who will settle for getting to 'B', when the unknown is what gives you the actual thrill kicks? Not that I am an actual adrenaline junkie.. far from that, but one is never too old to ditch a good solid ground eventually, and come what may!

“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt.. Dance like nobody's watching and Live like it's heaven on Earth” ~MT



Ps: here's an example of how a sketch goes bad :) neverthless we will keep on trying till the end! *or better not for "glass" sake*

Tell it to the Skies 2: Brown eyed blues...

So there i went again flying on another sunday flight from Tallinn to London: the sequel! Not as exciting as the last one, two weeks ago, maybe because i was put into the right 'economy' seat this time *yep.. just another pleb*. I can't complain much as at least i wasn't in a middle one, secondly i could do the basic smooth journey: sleep, read, stretch, etc... And thirdly, my bag arrived *with me* this time :D
It was all going too well until, i arrive at the train station and decide to go to Starbucks... It's something really out of the ordinary as i'm more of a Nero's Hot choc 'gal' :) But Oh Well, the underground was closed, called a taxi and had to wait, so went to grab a drink for the way..

Nothing strange there, payed at till and walk to the next counter to get the goods.. In a few seconds: *splaaaaaaaash* happened.. that was my hot chocolate.. past tense! Pointless to say the waiter spilled the whole thing just as he was asking «Cream on top for you, mis...?» I'm making an effort trying not to laugh at other's misfortunes, when he just stands still and, ditching all the spilled chocolate, tells me «Beauty devil.. how on earth did u end up here?»
Caught a little of guard "Hoping to get that hot chocolate.." were the only smart *obvious* words i had. Then «Eres española?» aka the 'slap' in the face.. *are these the new age pick up lines!?* Saved by the phone: taxi waiting outside, some words exchanged here & there waiting anxiously for another cup, ended up with the question «When can i see you again?» Rushing out i gasped something like "see you again when i drop by on my next trip".

Definitely, there's something ego-boosting about sunday traveling on Estonian Air :) However, lacking confidence is something quite persistent, when it comes to own self-persona.. Not that i grew up with some ugly-duck syndrome, but i was the typical 'tomboy' in my teens, playing football and keeping male best-buddies.
Suddenly one of them looks at you differently, tells you something corny and lips touch... *tingly stomachs and bursting fireworks*, then a mind-changing behavior occurs: it's about being different from them, becoming more feminine.
Thus, you know you are growing up when... attraction and other 'complicated' emotions start to play along to make things weird.. something not as logic and rational like maths and science *even though the word "chemistry" is used quite often*.. and, also, when you start bonding more with your congeners.

Girls partying is as fun as it gets, if i knew what i know today i would have grown up much quicker. Being in your twenties, you will find that at least one of your girlfriends shares a similar crush/love story you had, you will also realize that going out is all about you and what you have in common, everything is allowed: dancing, drinking, saying crap without worrying.. Not meaning by this that guys are not great partygoers, they actually are, but the emotional 'experiences' bond is just not the same.. for as kissing a girlfriend will never bring you an awkward sense of "could this mean...whatever?".. *in a straight girl world* It's just a way of expressing friendship.

Friends, boys or girls, are the sunshine to one's soul and i'm only truly happy in the «sun»..

"Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t. In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together." *on Grey's Anatomy episode watched during flight* Cobwebbed brain with the Sunday blues reminding me how i just lost another girlfriend to a car wreck.. and end up trying to sell myself some bullshit idea that Jo, my homonym, will always be living in one's memories. The sense of losing someone is mistakenly covered up by the existing geographic distance, which becomes later unraveled on the next trip back home: Too late to say i miss you, too early to see you go from this world..

This week, i found myself lost in translation half of the time *again*, in charming Estonia. Though, I found out it's actually soothing to use those moments to "run away" alone in your thoughts, after cohabitating 24h/7 with people around you for more than a week.. Even my 'juju' *aka foot bracelet* got overwhelmed and decided to flee my leg. It's more of sentimental value then anything: a witness to a dazzling panoply of every step i took in the past years.. It's probably "happy" somewhere in the Baltics, putting down into action the feelling of not wanting to return, unlike its owner ;)

However, the best moment of the week came in a saturday movie marathon.. surprisingly from the less likely movie i would think of.. I encounter «The Square root of 3» in "Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo bay" and suddenly i'm travelling back in time to a high-school english literature class, citing:

«Think like a scientist, but end up living impulsively
Being so mischievously spontaneous as a mayfly.
Both constant and irrational, cohexisting symbiotically
Beyond transcendental: just like number Pi...»

“Being Pi's alter-ego” excerpt by me

Santa Ana doesn't blow only in California...

“	Those hot dry winds that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen.	”
— Raymond Chandler, "Red Wind"

Anything 'indeed' can happen... If i knew it was all about wind flavour, i would probably check the weather forecast before heading out. In Portugal, this time of the year one would normally enjoy hot summer nights. Last saturday night was my birthday and even though i had partied hard the night before, there's never too much partying :) Specially, when taking short holidays to celebrate with your people, trying to get over the fact you aren't getting any younger and holding the motto "I STILL HAVE IT!!"

Even though one might enjoy to get exotic and surprising presents, some of them you don't see coming. Continuing.. it was quite a windy saturday starting with an amazing kite and windsurf beach maze during daytime ending up in my favourite open-air disco staring at the sea feelling the warm wind blowing.. While there, the last person you expect to see bids you hello and congratulates you with a cordial smile.. and shortly after jumps in rage to slap two of your friends for no apparent reason. I mean i said open-air not welcome to the jungle!? The world is never big enough.. i might as well be in California as I seem to have a fortuitous magnetic aura around me wherever i am.. Definitely the most original gift i got this year.. that and a bucket of sarcastic comments for the remainder of the night such as "Rita can you pretend not to be with us as you never know when another 'punch-drunk love' dude you dated will show up".

Relationships.. They have always come as new experiences to me with one obvious thing in common: men :) Not only that, but the fact that my only two serious ones, wrongly brought me into somewhat obsessive girlfriend 'duties'.. in the long run, an asfixiating and overwhelming emotion one is convinced that's just love, which tears apart the possibility of keeping it going.. It's like one's stuck in between parallel worlds as a mere spectator: the real one, where someone else constantly tries to take lead of your life's path, and.. the utopic one, where you come across all things you know you should be doing instead.

It's been 5 years now that i wrote down in one of my scrapbooks:

Life is interesting. You are destined to meet someone, be with someone and walk away from someone. If you are lucky enough, you will eventually have someone by your side, the one who walks closest to your heart, the one who shares your dreams and make those dreams come true with you, the one who holds your hands at any interactions of life and most importantly, the one with whom you are someone else...someone more like yourself.

Nowadays i still subscribe it *naively i still believe in it*, though most likely value freedom much more than back then.
Nevertheless, people are nothing more than social animals that feed on feellings and need to be wanted: Happiness, the bliss and Loneliness, the debris.. Most will even end up settling with the best 'offer' available at a given time in life, to avoid being totally alone.

Ideally, one will always keep on trying to find the relationship with the 'happy' balanced ensemble, even if that search stays dormant on some temporary giving up thought.. When suddenly, unannounced, a fresh wind blows your "door" open.. entering the safety of your thin shielded cocoon and re-start tippy dippy 'toeing'.. *ironically the best way to find it, is when you are not actually searching*
In the end, i come across an antagonistic feeling of wanting to love and be loved, but needing to be free at the same time.. perhaps i've just introduced a definition for the “needy loner” :)



The questions will always be out there unanswered i guess.. There's no recipe or magic trick as people's needs and wants make up such an imense world to try to explain all the 'corner' cases, like mine..

"All the world's a stage"

Shakespeare wrote it by the end of the 16th century.. and guerrilla gigging is there to make it a reality on the 21st!
Who hasn't seen a busker here and there, from undergrounds to sidewalks attempting some kind of entertainment, at a given time in their life? However, that will likely hit onlookers in a mere passive 5-second span.. awesome!! *sarcastic*

I work in one of the busiest areas in London and as I'm packing my bag to leave after a long day in the office, a surreal beat invades the room. The last time i heard something also seemingly inside the office walls, were some indians outside cheering during a cricket world cup final match..

Not exactly the same this time, I mean music playing at a whole new level.. For moments, i felt a dancing move trying to come out alla Barry White's toilet dollops by John Cage *in 'Ally Mcbeal'*. I'm finally out and come across what it seems to be a live performance surrounded by a circling crowd in the middle of the pavement!! I didn't see how this guys set stage, but firstly i was surprised with all that ska ska ska sound quality and, secondly, with the fact that there's no police to be seen to kick everyone out... They played half a dozen songs, promoted their CD material and gave away some typical pin-ups / fliers. Amazingly, in no more then 10 minutes everything was on a van and they were packed to go... *puff gone*. At that moment, no one would believe me if i said that there was a gig going on just minutes before. (1)

Music was not exactly what Shakespeare had in mind when writing that in "As You Like It" as it all comes down to human emotions and evolution. On the other hand, music is nothing but a human emotion response *attempting to make an analogy here ;)* Emotions are to Humans as Styles are to Music. As an individual, one can enjoy different types of music depending on the current 'mood', some types can be tolerated or just make one feel simply nauseous... Thus, emotions come playing in the topic once more.. "Music is a shorthand of emotion" says Tolstoi and i rest my case :)

Part Of The Weekend Never Dies
Music styles are like "neighbored Kingdoms": it's not about frontiers, but the reigning power making the distinction among them.
When it comes to playing, or even mixing some notes, two distinctive contributors *& 'Friends' Ltd* come to mind.. There's no such thing as too much music.. JUST 2 MANY DJ's!!! One can't go any more unorthodox, not even with guerrilla gigs. I had the chance to see them live @Lux-Lisbon in May as "Part of the weekend Never dies" tour, combining Soulwax concert with 2ManyDJ's mixing. What i can say is that these guys really know their stuff.. My emotions might not allow me to hear them all the time, but it was the most engaging live performance i've witnessed: 8 sequential hours of daa stuff :D *no.. i wasn't high.. and yes, i did pay to go to this one*.


(1) 'Imperial Leisure' - guerrilla rockers performing across London -
"All you can do is pity the fools who come in late" http://www.myspace.com/imperialleisure
(2) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guerrilla_gig

Tell it to the Skies...

It took a while to write back... Why "This" stopped at all in the first place? I guess life happened and i got hindered on some repressed feelling of massive time 'mis'management...

Just now i'm on a flight back from sunny Tallinn (Estonia) to London and the nicest, TV commercial like event happened: after i come from the toilet, sit down back on my upgraded yuuu uuuu business class window seat and look at that little chocolate bonbon that is just waiting to be eaten. The second i throw it inside my mouth, this complete stranger with hypnotic green eyes comes to my seat and offers me a flower! What are the odds of such self esteem booster in such a confined place !? Ok it was just napkin made, nevertheless if i was happy before, such a small thing just made me feel even better and smile or something that resembles one, just picture a full mouth trying to express appreciation by the act and at the same time mumbling an inarticulate thank you I can't stop saying that little things make the difference on one's life.

Going back a little in time... I was able to quit my workaholic, but social, active and somewhat happy little life in the convenient proximity of my friends and family. Change is good, but it can be daunting: moving away from Cascais, an agreeable beach village, to London, the busiest city ever, generates mixed feelings. The first thing a friend told me was that "London is the most lively and loneliest city in the world"... I couldn't put it better now as all i see most of the time is people passing through in a rush everywhere completely blinded by some errand to run.. However i made my peace with it and try to refuge myself from this "induced" stress. My job is challenging enough, my social skills aren't that bad either so i go out and about .. and sometimes i just want to be alone with my thoughts. Also, knowing there's something to look forward to going back for, just because you miss it so much and therefore appreciate it more, gets rewarded by regular quick-trips back home. Considering i've been traveling a lot for work, the time spent in London is just right to enjoy it :p

Back to now... Why has "This" started all over again? My first hint was yesterday when i experienced the coolest beach swing face fall as a partying night out was just beginning... The second hint was a self-induced rotating stool butt fall, while competing with a pal for the best 'swirl', as the night was coming to an end at a disco. As usual, my self-teasing laughing mood surpasses any possible pain. "Luckily :?" I'm glad my bones still handle it, but this extra-sensitivity to grativity doesn't seem to go away. As soon as i think "Ahhh I'm cured", a mouthful of sand comes to state otherwise... I really wished that 'Drop Dead Rita' move was recorded for prosperity as it's hard to describe a perfect fly up in the air with my legs going upward my head, my hands slowly slidding away from the swing and my whole body standing board-flat parallel to the ground for a millisecond... then *spat* gravity happened! Needless to say, sand went all the way up to my nose and made it's way down to my undies *blush*

This whole week has been filled up with new emotional bursts, as being in a eastern foreign country, you can go from feelling totally left out to totally fitting in. It's not just the fact that I look different from all these people around with their bright eyes and light hair.. and skinny little tushies *jealous*, but once they "run out" of english it's pretty much hopeless!

I should probably feel that i'm awfully unlucky with all the falling misfortunes.. But, after a workful week, the compensation came on a beach weekend where everything is allowed. From bathing in the sea with clothes on i haven't converted into the whole skinny dipping concept yet, dancing like there's no tomorrow, meeting the friendly girl behind the 'back' portrait, kissing and hugging some cartoon character outdoor maybe here the alcohol helped a bit ;), being innocently hugged and kissed on the cheek by someone i just met but talked like i've known him forever.. To more zen emotions like feelling the sun in my face as i feel the grass under my feet, shedding loose tears just because... and most of all listening to those special yet simple words that make your day just a little bit more "perfect" :)


Side note: title acknowledgement to current book i'm reading by Erica James as it was remarkably suitable being up in the air and all :)

"Whizurf"

From the moment i woke up: It's Jumping & Dancing Yeahhh puntz puntz puntz An hyperactive spree took over me.. aeh!? So.. What else is new? ;-)

From the day i've been called "Whiz", there's a bright forecast for good weather!

Sunshine is my Boost & the Sea is my release!

Just yesterday, 'my Vitamin D stimulation process' reached unthinkable levels for this time of the year! And today was time for some weeee.. "Whizurf", which, in 'good portuguese', translates to: «Chica-esperta que pratica surf alternativo, i.e. com a mania que surfa, mas que na realidade anda aos 'pinotes' na água!»

It's not about being great, but feeling great! I may not be «the sharpest knife in the drawer» when it comes to surfing, but.. How many of you can get 'the' unicorn look as "final ensemble"?? That's not easy to accomplish!

Oh what a vigorous feeling in the end! When you catch that final wave that brings you ashore and just lay there, enraptured by the moment with the waves 'dying' in your face, tickling your cheeks... "it doesn't get more lyrical than this" that's when 'it' hits, i mean literally hits.. a twinge in the face.. struck right between the eyes, like a bloodthirsty predator in "lamb's skin" that one could have never seen coming! Well duhhh.. how could anyone see it coming when the hypnotic blue sky works as its accomplice?

Astonishingly lost-minded and still wondering «What da heck?.. Was it a plain? A shooting star? A lightning?..» 'It' was my board, with a life of its own, probably getting back at me for something i did.. maybe i got fatter or something and 'it' felt like complaining.
In a matter of seconds i got the look of a little lamb when growing its horns, since it's just one horn make it an abnormal lamb! Looking on the bright side (because thankfully i'm still able to 'look') it could have been worse: like having a leaking eyeball!

Back to the good weather: there's a downside even to this somewhat impetuous sunshine.
I guess Bergeron process entered strike mode or is seizing the good weather in an exotic island somewhere :-( The global lack of precipitation implies scarce snow, which poses as a treath to my yearly ski week trip: My initial plan for a snowy Carnival already went down the drain.. I can make it a surf trip, but it's just not the same.

Wise saying and i quote «If you give people nuts, you'll get shells thrown at you». Ahhhhh wait wrong one, neverthless also very wise ;-)
What i meant was something a bit more like: «Almond nuts come to those who have no teeth». This constant pursuit of unhappiness is very much common among us, humans. Point being to make it short: if I were born in the Alps, im pretty sure i would have an yearly surf week, at least!

Good weather is relative! This one, by John Ruskin, sums it up:

«Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather»

Ps 1: "All you can do is commit to the people you love and hope for a little luck and good weather." in Forces Of Nature

Dia 6 é dia do "Reis"! E do Bolo.. E do Brinde.. E da Palmatoada..

Hoje é dia de bolo!! Só para o corpo não ressacar a falta de açucar no sangue dos excessos «Excessos?!? Quais Excessos?» da Quadra Natalícia!

Nesta quadra somos 'corrompidos' por uma febre consumista, nem vos digo nem vos conto: compras há última da hora, à boa maneira do espécime português, no qual me insiro :D Filas de meia noite às três da tarde num dia de semana.. "Não se trabalha?" É o pensamento proeminente em 90% das pessoas que se encontram em avassalador 'stress' pré-natalício!

Caso para dizer que gosto tanto do Natal, que estava em pulgas para que este chegasse ao 'fim'! Friso 'fim'! porque é relativo.. Se fizermos um movimento de translação para a direita da fronteira portuguesa, com uma orientação de pé no sentido sul->norte e como quem olha de frente a Península Ibérica.. Na água? F@#!?@# Oh my God Dar direcções nunca foi mesmo o meu forte.. Mais coordenada, menos coordenada onde queria chegar mesmo era aqui de 'ladecos' a Nuestros Hermanos! Sempre primeiro que os tugas em TUDO.. até no Festival Eurovisão da Canção, mas nesta quadra «zangam-se» e presenteiam os putos quase duas semanas depois!!!
Já nós por cá.. andamos à 'cata' dos restos dos saldos, que deviam começar para a semana.

Voltando ao busílis da questão do "bolo" e do "Reis": O primeiro não é um qualquer, mas uma simbiose com o segundo originando o famoso Bolo-Rei i.e. bolo muito 'rico' com fava e brinde (sendo estes últimos opcionais derivado dos inúmeros 'engasgues' que originam).
Tamanho PLEONASMO!! Passo a explicar:

1. A palavra "bolo", em bom português, significa "quantia relativa a ganho/lucro";
2. Ainda que opcionais, a fava e o brinde são prémios/ganhos adicionais.

Pelo que, é lógico concluir que o Bolo-Rei pode ser definido como "um ganho, que possui muitos bens (ainda que sob a forma de frutos) com hipótese de ganhos extra!" Convincente, huh?!

Um "bolo", em bom português, também significa "palmatoada", i.e. "levar uma réguada"! Na 2ª classe, lembro-me como se fosse ontem, existiram tantos encontros imediatos com a «palmatória» que se criou uma certa empatia entre nós. Uma menção honrosa a 'ti', que durante um ano me encheste de.. calos e inchaços!?!? sempre sem malícia!

Visto deste prisma, «dar a mão à palmatória» já parece incutir algo de positivo pois o resultado final é levar um "bolo"!! Este.. Ou se come ou dá lucro :D
Em suma, Bolo-Rei também pode ser definido como "uma Palmatoada Real"! Não é para todos: só para alguém de sangue azul, basicamente que tem direito a uma régua especial.. quiçá só para ele!

Resumindo e confundindo:

- A palavra "bolo", quando aplicada sob as diferentes 'formas' descritas, só pode ter um resultado agri-doce, ainda que a longo prazo e até porque gostos não se discutem;

- Ostentação de riqueza de índole "inútil/materialista", mesmo que para dar um colorido ou um ar de graça, está para a grande maioria como o Bolo-Rei: ingestão da massa e colocar a "fruta" de lado, à borda do prato!

Para os cristãos foi ao 6º Dia que Deus, à sua imagem, criou o homem, «o Esboço» e "depois" a mulher, «a Obra-prima».. Posto isto, resta escrever:

'Vivó' Bolo-Rainha! ;-)

Ps 1: Se te estás a picar: Não é que eu seja feminista, apenas de um género diferente do teu :D

Ps 2: A verdadeira «cereja em cima do "bolo"» surge com "palmatoadas reais" na carteira, mas com a contrapartida de "ganhos avultados" no guarda-roupa. Aqui se tem o derradeiro exemplo de um resultado "agri-doce" do dia! (Só para 'meninas' :p)